Top 10 Funniest Things That Ever Happened on My Dairy

I am Wendell Prusk, a Hereford dairyman, and these are my tall tales about calendars, deadlines and the cows who keep better time than I do.

1. The Cow Who Ate February

   The year a heifer ate February off my kitchen calendar and the whole Hereford area showed up a month late for the potluck.

2. The Hour the Parlor Clock Lost

   When the clocks went back, my milking parlor clock refused, and eighty cows reported for work an hour before anybody asked.

3. The Rooster Who Knew the Deadline

   Our rooster crowed earlier every morning until I finally opened the dairy margin envelope, and then he went quiet for good.

4. The Fair Entry Form Mix-Up

   I filled out the county fair entry in a hurry and wrote my goat into the heifer class, and she took the whole thing seriously.

5. The Leap Year Calf

   A calf born on the 29th of February gave me a birthday that comes once every four years, plus a cake problem I never solved.

6. The Dog Days Sprinkler Schedule

   One August the herd learned my sprinkler timetable better than I did and began arriving for cooling right on the minute.

7. The Shoebox Tax Season

   My tax receipts live in a boot box, and one winter a barn cat moved in and filed them better than I ever managed to do myself.

8. The Co-op Meeting That Adjourned Itself

   A Panhandle windstorm slammed the door during our co-op meeting, and we voted to adjourn on the spot with no discussion.

9. The Day I Read the Milk Price to the Herd

   I read the weekly dairy price report aloud in the barn every Wednesday, and the herd started applauding at the cheese part.

10. The Spring That Came With a Laminated Checklist

    I laminated my spring checklist to finally plan ahead, and the wind, a barn cat and a hay bale each had other ideas about it.