The Fair Entry Form Mix-Up
I filled out the county fair entry in a hurry and wrote my goat into the heifer class, and she took the whole thing seriously.
Every spring the county fair sends out an entry form with about forty boxes, and every spring I fill it out at the last possible moment at the feed store counter. One year I rushed it so badly that I wrote my goat Pennywhistle into the Holstein heifer class. I checked the box for dairy, wrote down a weight, and signed. The weight was correct for the goat. It was not correct for anything the fair expected in that class.
I did not realize until I was loading the trailer on a hot Friday and Pennywhistle hopped in beside the heifer like a passenger booked on the same flight. At that point I figured I could confess or I could drive. I drove. Around Hereford the radio gave a long talk on county fair prep and I will tell you that none of it covered what to do when you have entered a goat in the heifer ring.
At check-in the clerk looked at the form, then at the goat, then back at the form. A line was forming behind us. Pennywhistle, who has never been shy, strolled to the scale, stepped up, and stood absolutely still with a look of grave importance. The clerk, a retired schoolteacher with a clipboard and no patience for nonsense, said the weight on the form matched the weight on the scale exactly, and that technically I had filled it out right. I have never felt more victorious about something so wrong.
The judges allowed a quick conference. They decided Pennywhistle could walk the ring as an exhibition, and she took the whole thing seriously, turning when told, standing square, ignoring the cheering. She received a ribbon that read SPECIAL RECOGNITION in purple. My heifer got a blue one and acted indifferent about it. Next year I read the form twice, but I did keep the goat's ribbon. It hangs on the milk room wall where February used to be. My other fair tales live on farm.FM, where nobody has asked for the goat back.
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