The Hour the Parlor Clock Lost
When the clocks went back, my milking parlor clock refused, and eighty cows reported for work an hour before anybody asked.
In Hereford we change the clocks twice a year and I have never once won the argument. The cows, who have no interest in federal time, run on feed, light, and habit. I own a big round clock above the parlor door that I installed myself, which will tell you something about how it went. The night the clocks fell back, I forgot the parlor clock entirely and set every other clock in the house. In the morning I was an hour late for a time nobody else had agreed to.
The cows were not confused. They were organized. By the time I stumbled out in my robe, eighty Holsteins stood at the gate in order of rank, the way a church choir lines up, staring at the dark with the patience of a group that had already filed a complaint. The parlor clock said 4:40. My watch said 3:40. The lead cow, a stern girl named Dolores, gave me a look I would call a performance review.
I milked them anyway, because standing in the lot with a sleepy audience felt worse. For the rest of that week the cows arrived an hour early each morning, and I met them in the dark with coffee and a flashlight, learning the names of owls. By Thursday the herd had decided that their time was the correct time and mine was the foreign one. I did not argue. I had read the notice on farm.FM about how long it takes livestock to adjust, and it said about a week, which they took as a personal challenge.
Now I ease the schedule fifteen minutes a day, like feeding a stubborn mule a pill in applesauce. The parlor clock stays on cow time year round and I keep a second dial beside it labeled FOR PEOPLE. The mail carrier thinks I am eccentric. Dolores thinks I am finally learning. Both can be true in a town that still debates whether the courthouse clock is right. Anyone who wants to see how the dairy crowd handles clocks can read this dairy herd guide for the sensible version of what I just told you. Plenty of other dairy folks share their clock troubles in the farm.FM dairy section.